Getting over suicidal thoughts can feel impossible and never-ending.

It’s easy to fall into that black hole and feel like there’s no choice. First and foremost, therapy and medication are vital for people experiencing these thoughts or other struggles—but what happens when that’s not enough? So what about those nights when you’re lying alone in bed while everyone else is sleeping, unable to sleep, lonely and miserable?

It’s crucial to know coping skills ahead of time.They may not “cure” your mind, but they can help you get through it. Here’s some content you might find useful, straight from someone who’s been through it:

Make a list of things you’d miss.

Sky Fisher is a writer who has not had suicidal thoughts in 15 years.” One thing I do is make a list of all the things I’m looking forward to that I would miss if I followed my plan,” “Like my little brother is getting older and I want to go to a music show. Yes, going to a specific city or attraction that I’ve always dreamed of…it really helps me focus on what I want in life and gives me something to look at and look forward to when the current reality feels hopeless.”

Think of who needs you, like your pets.

Many people who struggle with suicidal ideation may believe that they are a burden to others (but this is not the case!). If this is you, it might be helpful to think about the people you help and who love you, such as your pets.

“I think the first thing that brought me to my lowest point was having my two cats,” says freelance writer Jennifer McMorrow. “These two cats have only me in the world to feed them, take them to the vet and love them.”

Remember that you only have to take things one day at a time.

When you have suicidal thoughts, getting through the next moment, let alone the rest of your life, can feel extremely difficult.But remember, all you need to focus on right now is this minute, this day. That’s how psychology student Liv Sturgeon survives – she realizes she just has to take one step at a time and remember all the days she did that.

“Knowing that I’ve made it through the darkest time of my life, when I thought I couldn’t do this, gives me hope that, whether I believe it or not, things will always get better,” she said.

She finds distraction and talking to friends particularly helpful.” I try to remind myself that there is more to me than mental illness and that I should be happy,” she added.

Try dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills.

DBT is a therapy approach that you can do with a therapist or on your own, and it’s full of coping skills to try. “DBT helps reduce the intensity of emotions you feel about everything that’s going on around you and within you,” says producer, actor, and suicide survivor Sheila Houulahan. “While DBT doesn’t prevent unpleasant things from happening, it does help me calm them down.”

These DBT worksheets have a long list of tools.Houlahan also shared some of her favorites, such as:

Dunking your head in cold water.

The first trick she suggests is to dunk your head in ice water—yes, seriously. “I highly recommend filling a sink with cold water, putting in some ice cubes, and then take a deep breath, submerge your entire face in the water, and hold your breath for 15 seconds,” she explains. “By doing this, when you come back, it actually slows down your autonomic system, which stops this cycle.” This activates your “dive reflex,” which slows your heart rate.

Engaging in distractions.

If you’re feeling less miserable, she recommends distracting yourself. “Watch reruns of your favorite shows or movies where you already know the plot,” says Hoolahan. “Pay attention to things you already know aren’t triggering. That way, you can safely lower your emotional level until you can handle it.”

For Emily Lavinia, reading is a great way to get out of her pain. “Every time I pick up a book or even listen to an audiobook, I find myself occupying a space between the pull of the real world and the world of peace and oblivion I imagine,” the journalist and PR professional said. ” “My brain is completely distracted, and whenever I’m feeling down these days, I know reading a book will put my mind into a safe space.”

Other distractions include taking a walk, cleaning the house, and taking a bubble bath relax in the bath, watch your favorite TikTok, play games on your phone, draw and more.

Check in with friends and family.

That voice in your head may be urging you to isolate.

Don’t give in. “Open communication with trusted family and friends allows me to share my thoughts and feelings in a safe and inclusive environment,” Danny Mayberry, a veteran who helps others through the “1 Mile 1 Veteran” podcast (Danny Mayberry) said. “My support system has understood that my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts are not due to anything they may or may not have done.”

McMorrow emphasized this point, too, mentioning that she reached out to friends she knew were struggling as well.” It can be really hard because it’s a moment where you want to detach, but I always encourage you to reach out to people who understand those low places,” she said.

Move your body in an enjoyable way.

Exercise doesn’t have to be long, intense, outdoors or in a gym. It can be as simple as a short walk or stretching and still be helpful. “Walking—especially walking by the water, watching the waves roll in on the sand and imagining my stress and anxiety rolling away with the tide—enjoying the different scenery helps me clear my mind and reminds me how much It’s something to be grateful for,” said freelance writer Monica Romano.

Science supports the effectiveness of physical exercise. “Research shows that exercise has many benefits, reducing stress hormones like cortisol and increasing feel-good chemicals like serotonin,” she adds.

If you can’t (or don’t want to) get out and exercise, but still want to experience the great outdoors, you can stream virtual hiking videos on YouTube.

Plan a trip or something else fun.

What’s an exciting thing you’ve always wanted to do that you can now plan? This question comes to mind for political scientist and associate professor Graeme Blair.

“When suicidal thoughts were particularly strong, I had a long-standing thought, which I’ve had since I was a teenager, that if everything went really bad, I would always have enough money to buy a plane ticket to Fiji,” he said . “The idea of ​​being able to leave work and personal stress behind and live on the beach is comforting.”

You can plan a trip or even a fun outing. This might be something you actually do later, or just an idea to help you get through it.

Some people feel comfortable by closing their eyes and pretending they are in a “safe place”—such as the beach or a friend’s house—and imagining the things they would see, smell, taste, touch, and hear. (Fun fact: This “safe place” tool is actually something people do during trauma therapy when they feel triggered or unsafe.)

Think about how your loved ones would be affected.

This is not meant to make you feel guilty (although you may have heard others say this). This is just to remind you that even if you feel like you are a burden, you are not. In fact, you were more loved than you thought – and your death will affect people.

“The only thing that stops me is the idea that my parents have to pick up the pieces… how unfair that is to my parents,” said Army veteran Brett C., who asked to remain anonymous Go to your own surname to talk about it.

Katherine Glaser is a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks in Tampa, Florida, who has been helping patients with suicidal thoughts for more than two decades. When asked what she wished people with suicidal ideation knew, she said: “If they weren’t in it, the whole world would be different. If they were gone, everyone they come in contact with would be different… not much People are aware of the effects.”

Some of her clients have found that looking at family photos, emailing a therapist, and getting out of the house helps. “The feeling of suicide doesn’t last forever,” she added. “Help is out there.”

The suicidal voices in your head may be convincing, but remember: Feelings are not facts. As you practice these skills, be kind to yourself.you deserved.