No one likes anxiety, right? If this is true, then why do we sometimes feel so unsettled, even strange, when life is calm or everything is settling down? It’s like your heart racing while you’re lying in bed or your thoughts racing while you’re watching TV.

Alternatively, there may be a tendency to schedule to avoid downtime. When you’re used to living under stress, taking a break can actually trigger anxiety. If you feel anxious even when things in your life are finally going the way you want them to, it’s probably because you’re used to living in chaos and don’t trust the feeling of calm.

If you’re not used to silence, you might feel suspicious. Your brain thinks it always needs to be in survival mode and it’s waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

Storms of anxiety are often preceded by a calm—but why? Therapists share the most common reasons why calming down can make you anxious.

Deeper-level anxieties rise to the surface.

In quiet times, thoughts and anxieties that are usually hidden and buffered by the busyness of daily life come to the surface. These are often deeper anxieties that may be about life stages, life transitions or underlying worries.

Taking a break from daily tasks, impatient thoughts and feelings, and life demands can give your brain space to focus on deeper anxieties.

When our environment becomes calm, our thoughts appear louder.For most of us, our minds are not a refuge.It contains voices of concern, criticism, worry, insecurity, and fear.

You are used to thinking of worst-case scenarios.

It’s hard to enjoy the water if you’re worried about sharks. During calm times, most people with anxiety disorders mistakenly associate current relief with an approaching storm.

Your anxious mind will tell you that good things always come with bad things, so you can’t catch a break. Many people predict the worst, catastrophize a situation, or wait for the other shoe to drop. Therefore, in good times, they are unable to enjoy the experiences and feelings they have in the present.

You’re too focused on preserving the good times.

On the other hand, you might be obsessed with having a good time. People who regularly struggle with anxiety often believe they can maintain a calm state and stay that way over the long term. They forget the transient and impermanent nature of life and emotions.

Accepting that the good times may not last forever, rather than holding on to them as tightly as possible, can prolong the happy times because they won’t be ruined by anxiety.

Feeling anxious is a habit.

Anxious thoughts may feel natural. When people are resting, their brains often think, worry, and have anxious thoughts as usual, even though there is nothing happening to make them anxious at that moment.

It doesn’t matter whether the anxiety is warranted;If your brain is used to doing something, it will do it.People are creatures of habit, which means we adapt to our environments, situations, and experiences because they are what we can expect—whether it’s safe, meaningful, or helpful.

Feeling calm is unfamiliar.

For people who are used to living in stress, noise, and chaos, a calm environment can feel uncomfortable and strange.

Think of it as someone who lives in a noisy city and is unable to sleep while on vacation in a quiet countryside because the silence is deafening to them.

Being anxious is part of your identity.

Some people don’t know what to do when they’re not anxious.

If your identity is tied to “nervousness and insecurity,” then moments of calm can be overwhelming because your “identity is compromised.” Without anxiety, they are unsure of who they are, which ultimately leads to anxiety.

You’re experiencing delayed-onset anxiety.

Maybe you experienced a demanding project at work or dealt with an unexpected emergency that required a cool head. After it’s over, you may feel delayed anxiety.

While people are able to remain calm during stressful situations, anxiety often occurs after the stress is over.

Your body’s adapted to a constant state of anxiety.

Anxiety can cause breathing changes, increased heart rate, nausea, racing thoughts, and other physical and mental changes.

If we feel anxious most of the time, our body goes into protective mode and makes sure it adapts to our current state.

Because of this, you may not always realize when you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety. We adapt to this environment and all anxious thoughts, physical symptoms, and other symptoms of anxiety become our new normal.

Taking a break makes you feel lazy.

Everyone deserves to take breaks, but living in a productivity-focused capitalist society can make you feel guilty for taking breaks. For anxious people who are used to always doing things, having free time often leads to the thought that they should be doing something.

This is particularly common in our society, where productivity is seen as beneficial, while relaxing, doing something enjoyable (and unproductive), or doing nothing is seen as laziness.

Perfectionists are especially susceptible to this effect. Perfectionists believe they should always be productive and over-commit tasks and responsibilities. They tend to associate self-worth and worth with achievement.

You may have relaxation-induced anxiety (RIA).

A 1988 study published in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry found that people with RIA may fear becoming anxious or losing control while relaxing.

Some people experience relaxation-induced panic or anxiety when trying to use relaxation strategies such as progressive muscle relaxation or deep breathing. In trying to calm their often anxious bodies and minds, they experience the paradoxical experience of increased anxiety due to difficulty letting go and a perceived lack of control.

It could be a trauma response.

Finally, you may also be experiencing a trauma response. If something that caused anxiety or fear happened in the past when you were calm or relaxed, feeling calm may be a signal to your body that a threat is coming.

Or maybe someone made you feel bad when you were relaxing in the past.Perhaps someone was rewarded by their parents for staying busy as a child – the subtle message here is that there is something wrong with being satisfied with the status quo, and over time this contentment becomes internalized and integrated into a person’s idea of ​​themselves.

How To Actually Enjoy The Calm Moments

Relaxing should be fun—and there are plenty of ways to have a good time again.

Start by taking a break from productivity. Productivity addiction is real, and we live in a competitive, uncertain, success-oriented culture where productivity has become an instinctive response to relieve anxiety.

Finding activities and pursuits that you enjoy purely for the sake of the process, without any beneficial outcome, are an important part of a good life and can go a long way toward relieving anxiety. As you find these agreements, let go of the guilt again and again. This is a toxic form of guilt that robs you of your ability to fully participate in and enjoy the life in front of you.

Psychotherapy and mindfulness can also help you manage symptoms and change behaviors that increase anxiety. Contact a mental health professional to learn more.

No amount of extra work can replace the joy of doing what you love and living in the moment. With a little help, you can make the most of your break.