While self-reflection is helpful, wandering thoughts can be harmful. Being immersed in your problems and magnifying your misfortunes will only increase your pain.

Maybe you replay the conversation you had with your boss over and over in your mind, and every time you think back to the conversation, you beat yourself up for what you said. Playing the same scenario over and over increases your fear that you’ll say the wrong thing.

Or maybe you can’t stop thinking about what people called you when you were a kid. Whenever you meet someone new, or whenever you have a few minutes of quiet, those hurtful comments invade your mind. When you recall those painful times, your self-confidence will plummet and your sense of hopelessness will soar.

The Trouble with Overthinking

If you tend to be an overthinker, you’re not alone. This is a common problem that many people experience. But dwelling on negative events and painful emotions won’t do you any good.

Thinking about negative things can lead to mental health problems. Research shows that the more you think about your difficulties, mistakes, and problems, the more likely you are to experience depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

Focusing on your problems can cause mental health problems to persist longer. The more you think about your problems, the harder it will be to regain your mental health.

Negative thinking is a difficult cycle to break. Over time, wandering thoughts become a bad habit. It can become so ingrained that it can be difficult to change the way you think.

Wandering thoughts can lead to unhealthy coping skills. Research shows that wandering thoughts can increase emotional distress, which can increase the risk of developing substance abuse problems or eating disorders.

How to Stop

If you are always wallowing in your pain and blaming yourself for your mistakes, change the way you think. Stopping rumination takes practice and dedication, but doing so will make you feel better and behave more productively.

To realize when it happens

• The more you think about it, the more likely you are to become trapped in a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. Pay attention to your thinking habits and pay close attention to the times you keep repeating and replaying painful events in your mind. The sooner you notice this, the sooner you can choose to think about more productive things.

Find a solution

• There is no use dwelling on negative problems unless you are actively looking for solutions. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do about the situation. Learn from your mistakes and fix the problems so you can move forward.

Allow time to think

• Your brain needs a chance to process the things that happen in your daily life. Set aside 20 minutes every day to think, worry, or reflect. Put your “thinking time” into your schedule. When you notice yourself worrying or ruminating outside of your planned time, remind yourself, “I’ll think about this later.”
• Knowing that you’ll have a chance to think about a painful topic later can help you put it off. Sticking to your time limit will help you think about your problems in a more productive way, while also preventing you from punishing yourself by replaying painful memories over and over again.

Distract yourself

• Telling yourself not to think about something can backfire and make you think about it more. A better way to divert your attention is to find something to keep you busy: exercise, call a friend to talk about a completely different topic, or do a chore around the house. Moving around more can help you “change the channel” and prevent you from dwelling on painful memories.

Practice mindfulness

• Mindfulness is the key to living in the “here and now.” When you are mindful, you are fully present in the present moment. Like other forms of meditation, mindfulness takes practice, but over time it can significantly reduce rumination.